LeylandiiCola’s return marks the start of a busy summer

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ImageLeylandiiCola has returned for the summer with a new recipe. Béal na Tíre attended the launch of LeylandiiCola for summer 2014 at the Polyester Palace in Orchardstown, Cubbyhole.

It has become a national icon since its launch last year. And Leylandiistan’s Department of Food, Drink and Agriculture is capitalising on LeylandiiCola’s popularity with a new recipe and larger reserves. “One of LeylandiiCola’s problems last year was that there was the demand, but not the supply”, said the creator of LeylandiiCola and President of Leylandiistan, Fionnbarra Ó Cathail. “We had limited reserves of the syrup we use to make the cola, which we buy from France. This year, we bought more syrup, and we believe that we have enough LeylandiiCola to meet this year’s demand”.

It was the perfect summer’s day on which to launch LeylandiiCola for this year. The aptly named “Polyester Palace”, an administrative building which is in fact a tent owned by the Cubbyhole Regional Council, was pitched at the end of the path leading to Orchardstown for the occasion. The site will host a number of events throughout the summer. LeylandiiCola’s launch coincides with Midsummer, a Celtic festival and a national holiday in Leylandiistan.

The recipe change is the other major change since last year. “We have replaced Sulphite Ammonia Caramel (E150d), an artificially treated caramel which can be found in most other colas, with natural caramel. The purity and natural colour given by natural caramel, as well as being much healthier than E150d, makes this cola much better than most macronational colas. This technically makes us a 100% natural cola, something our competitors overlook for extra profit. We also use citric acid instead of phosphoric acid, which means our cola isn’t so bad for your bones either! Of course, all sugar-sweetened beverages are bad for your teeth and not beneficial to your health either, and we ask all our customers to ensure they enjoy LeylandiiCola while having a balanced and healthy diet.”

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The Cubbyhole Autonomous Republic has a growing economy based almost solely on its agricultural and food production sector. The region is home to both LeylandiiCola and the national orchards, as well as the government’s “An Fheirm” agricultural cooperative.

What is key to LeylandiiCola’s success is its seasonal availability. LeylandiiCola is only available during the summer, ensuring stronger demand when it is available. It is also a niche product, with a small but loyal customer base. As LeylandiiCola was presented outside Orchardstown, it was noticed that the apple trees at the national orchards are coming along very well already. The Department of Food, Drink and Agriculture says Leylandiistan’s main strategy is its agricultural sector. This is plain to see, as food production was President Ó Cathail’s main economic strategy, and now food is produced in all regions of Leylandiistan. But has it succeeded?

While food production and agriculture have been successful so far, the government have not  expanded other sectors as much. Béal na Tíre is currently following the plans for a hydrogen plant in Leylandiistan with great anticipation, although construction on the facility has not yet begun. Vice President de Créag has begun a draft Finance Act to organise the way Leylandiistan’s economy works, and to reorganise existing infrastructure such as the Central Bank and the currency of Leylandiistan, the Lira.

Where LeylandiiCola will be sold, whether or not it will be exported, how much it will cost and how successful it will really be are questions which have yet to be answered. The build up to LeylandiiCola’s relaunch has been exciting not only for citizens of Leylandiistan, but also for some external observers. Béal na Tíre can reveal that micronationalist Paul Kang was interested in selling LeylandiiCola in his micronation, the New Kingdom of Southern California. However, he has since become inactive in micronationalism, and the deal fell through. What we can be sure of is that this marks the end of a period of inactivity in Leylandiistan, and marks the start of a busy and exciting summer.

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ALeylandiiCola ad was a symbol of the nation’s anticipation of the beverage’s return when the ad was first published in the Sentinel a few months ago.

 

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